Who Am I? How Losing Touch With Yourself Leads to Sugar Cravings, Emotional Eating, and Dopamine Dependence
Discover how identity, emotional disconnection, and dopamine imbalances drive your cravings and how reconnecting to who you truly are helps you find freedom from sugar and ultra-processed foods.
Have you ever caught yourself standing in front of the fridge, mindlessly searching for something sweet… even when you weren’t hungry?
You might have thought, “Why am I doing this? What’s wrong with me?”
But what if I told you the real reason behind those cravings isn’t about lack of willpower, or even just habit, it’s about identity.
It’s about a question most people never stop to ask:
Who am I?
It sounds simple, right? But this question, if left unanswered can quietly drive so much of our behavior, especially around food. When we don’t truly know who we are, when we’re disconnected from ourselves, we look for ways to fill that emptiness.
And one of the fastest ways to “feel” something again is through food, especially ultra-processed foods and sugar that light up the brain’s reward system and give a temporary sense of pleasure, comfort, or calm.
Let’s explore this together.
The Missing Connection Between Identity and Eating
Most people think emotional eating is just about stress. But stress is only part of the story. The deeper reason many people overeat or crave sugar is that they’ve lost connection to who they are at their core.
Your relationship with food is often a mirror of your relationship with yourself.
When you feel aligned, when you know what you value, what you stand for, and where you’re going, you naturally make choices that honour that version of you. But when that sense of self is fuzzy, food becomes a way to self-soothe, to ground yourself, or to escape the discomfort of uncertainty.
If you don’t know who you are, your body still craves a sense of identity and sugar becomes a quick fix.
The Dopamine Trap: Why Sugar Feels Like Home
Let’s talk about dopamine for a moment.
Dopamine is your brain’s “feel-good” chemical. It gives you motivation, drive, and reward. When you eat sugar or ultra-processed foods, your brain releases a surge of dopamine, it feels exciting, comforting, almost like a hug from the inside out.
But here’s the tricky part: the more you rely on those foods to feel good, the less your brain naturally produces dopamine from everyday joy, things like connection, purpose, or self-respect.
So over time, you end up needing more sugar, more snacks, more caffeine, or more scrolling just to feel “okay.”
That’s where the identity disconnect deepens.
Because instead of finding comfort from within, through knowing who you are, you start outsourcing your comfort to external things that give temporary relief but leave you emptier inside.
Who Are You Without the Sugar Rush?
When I ask clients, “Who are you?”, I often get silence. Then answers like:
“I’m a mom.”
“I’m a teacher.”
“I’m a wife.”
“I’m trying to be healthy.”
Those are roles, not identities.
They describe what you do, not who you are.
So I’ll ask again: Who are you when no one’s watching?
Who are you when life feels quiet, when you’re not performing, achieving, or helping someone else?
This question can feel uncomfortable because it takes you beneath the surface. It invites you to reconnect with your inner self, the one that existed before you started defining yourself through responsibilities, achievements, or your body.
That’s where healing begins.
Because when you start to remember who you truly are, your choices around food begin to shift naturally. You no longer need sugar to feel good, you start to find that satisfaction in alignment, peace, and purpose.
How Identity Shapes Every Food Choice
When you know who you are, you make decisions from that place.
If you see yourself as someone who values health, balance, and calm, you’ll choose meals that reflect that identity, not because you should, but because it feels natural.
If your identity is tied to being “always busy,” “the caretaker,” or “the one who holds it all together,” food can become your only moment of rest. It becomes your reward, your comfort, your way of saying, “I deserve this.”
That’s not weakness, it’s wisdom misplaced. Your body is simply asking to be acknowledged.
Food becomes a form of self-connection. And while that works for a while, it’s not sustainable. Eventually, your body and mind start to crave deeper nourishment, not just from nutrients, but from meaning.
Why Ultra-Processed Foods Amplify Disconnection
Ultra-processed foods are designed to hijack your brain’s reward system. They combine sugar, fat, and salt in ways that trigger powerful dopamine surges, far beyond what real food can do.
It’s emotional fast food for your brain.
Each time you reach for these foods instead of reaching inward, you reinforce the belief that comfort comes from the outside.
Over time, you may notice patterns like:
Eating even when you’re not hungry
Feeling “off” without snacks or caffeine
Losing motivation and clarity
Constantly chasing energy or focus
These are not flaws, they’re signs that your body and brain are craving you: your attention, your truth, your identity.
The Healing Question That Changes Everything
When you start asking “Who am I?” and really listen, you peel back the layers of who you’ve been told to be. You uncover your real desires, your real needs, your real values.
You realize your cravings were never about sugar, they were about wanting to feel seen, valued, or safe.
That’s why healing your relationship with food is not about restriction, it’s about reconnection.
Every time you pause before eating and ask, “What am I really hungry for?”, you take one step closer to your true self.
And that version of you doesn’t need sugar to feel good, she already does.
How to Reconnect With Who You Are
1. Pause before you eat
Ask yourself: “What do I need right now?” Food? Rest? Reassurance? A breath of peace?
2. Write your “Who am I?” statement
Without using roles or titles, describe who you are in one sentence.
Example: “I am a woman who values peace, authenticity, and growth.”
When you eat from that truth, everything changes.
3. Notice your dopamine sources
Where are you getting your “feel-good” hits from? Sugar? Coffee? Scrolling?
Awareness is power, it gives you choice.
4. Create joy from within
Rebuild natural dopamine by doing things that fill your soul: sunlight, music, laughter, creativity, nature.
5. Feed your body like someone you love
Balanced, real foods send your body the message: “I’m worth caring for.”
How This Ties Into The Sugar Reset Method
When I created the Sugar Reset Method, it wasn’t just about removing sugar, it was about rebuilding connection.
When you reset your sugar and dopamine patterns, you start to reconnect with who you are beneath the cravings:
Your energy steadies
Your mood lifts
Your self-trust grows
You finally feel like yourself again
That’s the real transformation.
Sugar might have been your comfort, but it was never meant to be your identity.
The Truth About Emotional Hunger
Emotional hunger doesn’t come from the stomach, it comes from the soul.
When you’re disconnected from who you are, your brain looks for something to ground you. Food becomes that anchor because it’s tangible and comforting.
But emotional hunger never ends with food, it ends with truth.
When you fill your life with purpose, rest, and authenticity, your body stops asking for sugar to make up the difference.
A Loving Challenge for You
This week, find a quiet moment and ask yourself …. Who am I?
Write freely. Don’t aim for perfection. Let the real you come through.
You may discover that your cravings were never the problem, they were simply your body’s way of calling you home.
Because when you know who you are, you stop needing sugar to fill the space where you belong.
Final Thoughts: Coming Home to Yourself
Your cravings aren’t the enemy, they’re messages.
They’re reminders to come back to yourself.
You don’t need more control, you need more connection.
Because once you start living from that grounded place of self-awareness, your body no longer seeks sugar to feel alive.
You feel alive, because you’re finally living as you.
Ready to start reconnecting with YOU?
Click here to get my FREE 7-Day Sugar Reset Guide, your first step to calming cravings, balancing energy, and feeling good again.
You’ll also get the link to book a free discovery call to personalize your reset and help you rediscover your balance.
Because you don’t need more sugar to feel good.
You just need more you.
About the Author
Sarah Seguin, CNP, is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist and creator of the Sugar Reset Method and Metabolic Balance Coaching. She helps women in perimenopause break free from sugar addiction and reset their metabolism so they can feel balanced, energized, and in control again.
Follow Sarah on Instagram for weekly tips, mindset shifts, and free resources to help you feel your best from the inside out.